Real growth isn’t comfortable.
I know that because I’ve lived it. I’ve spent years stretching myself, proving myself, and pushing into uncomfortable territory to build the work and life I have now.
And one thing has become very clear to me.
Encouragement alone doesn’t create change.
Why being “supported” isn’t always enough
The women I work with are capable, driven, and deeply thoughtful. They’ve built careers and businesses through hard graft and determination.
What they don’t need is someone telling them they’re brilliant and sending them back out to do more of the same.
What they do need is someone who can see what they can’t when they’re too close to it.
The limits they’ve quietly accepted.
The patterns they keep repeating.
The questions they’re circling but avoiding.
That’s where challenge matters.
Challenge with backing changes everything
Clients often tell me the thing that makes the biggest difference in our work together is how I challenge them.
I ask the questions they’ve been skirting around.
I name the assumptions they’ve stopped noticing.
I reflect back the patterns they can’t see from the inside.
And I do it without abandoning them in the discomfort.
Challenge without support can feel brutal.
Support without challenge can keep you stuck.
Growth needs both.
Seeing the patterns you’re too close to notice
One of the things I’m particularly good at is spotting patterns and making connections when someone is deep in the detail.
Sometimes that means zooming out, so the bigger picture becomes clear again.
Sometimes it means slowing right down and looking closely at what keeps tripping them up.
That shift in perspective allows people to:
- stop repeating the same cycles
- make clearer, more confident decisions
- take opportunities they’ve been hesitating over
The change doesn’t come from insight alone.
It comes when insight turns into action.
Bravery isn’t automatic, even for capable women
Being capable doesn’t make you immune to fear or doubt.
Making the hard call.
Choosing a different way of working.
Putting your head above the parapet.
Those moments still require courage.
This is where I see my role most clearly.
I’m the voice that has your back when the stakes feel high.
The one who challenges you to be braver than your default.
And stays alongside you while you decide what you’re actually willing to change.
That’s Wing Woman work.
Not rescuing.
Not advising.
Walking with you as you do it your way.
This is Part 2 of the Doing It Differently series.
In the next part, I’ll shift the lens to leadership and organisations, and explore why even the most capable leaders need an outside perspective.
